February is the month of love and all, and so I am also inspired to write about love in its many different contexts. Love in the context of loving self, loving others and receiving love.  In a world that has defined love in materialistic ways I am enquiring about love in the context of God’s word. What is this love that can become so fruitful or so poisonous? How does it become bad when it can be so good?

My enquiry is inspired by the scripture 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, the perfections of love passage.

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Firstly, let me put this disclaimer forward. I am aware that this scripture is written in the context of the church. The Apostle Paul wrote to the church of Corinth out of concern having heard that the church was in absolute chaos because of their spiritual character deformities, marking the church with strife, conflict, and harmful behaviours towards one another. While this may be the context of scripture, I want to bring it to the context of love between human beings or towards self because actually we are the church.  We are the church of God as individuals (a cell), a couple (two or more) and this is what we bring to others, this is how we influence those around us and the world.

Love is a word so commonly used that sometimes we think we know what it should be or what it means to love. Even our life experiences and exposures influence how we express and receive love and what we expect from it. But really, what is love and how should we identify it?  What are the attributes of love and what do they mean? 

I reflect on this scripture because I found love is difficult at times, maybe I am not the only one who feels this way, perhaps you also want to be reminded by scripture how love should feel and what it should reflect. Maybe you also want to know if love should be difficult at times.

In verse 4, the Apostle Paul says “love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”

What does this mean?  Let’s start with the positive descriptors.

·       Love is patient, love is kind.

One of the descriptors I found when looking up the word ‘patience’ defines patience as, bearing provocation, annoyance, misfortune, delay, hardship, pain, etc., with fortitude and calm and without complaint, anger, or the like. But what does the bible define patience as?  The Message bible says “Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self.” Patience means you are slow to anger Exo 34:6. God demonstrated this fully in the bible through the Old Testament. The many examples of God’s wrath we read about in the early days, always start with God’s patience. When Jonah was thrown in the deep of the ocean because he ran away from God, God was patient in redirecting him, “Now the Lord provided a huge fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was in the belly of the fish three days and three nights” (Jonah 1:17). Later on in chapter two we learn that God commanded the fish to vomit Jonah onto dry land. This is the kindness of God.  The flood waters swallowed the earth only after God patiently waited while the ark was being built in the days of Noah (1 Peter 3:20). God lingered for four generations before cleansing Canaan of its idolatry, for, he told Abraham, “the iniquity of the Amorites is not yet complete” (Genesis 15:16). And nine warning plagues fell on Egypt before the devastating blow to the firstborn (Exodus 11:4–8).

These warnings were happening because God did not want to destroy His people but wanted them to know it was possible if they would not change. This to me speaks to love always seeking for something good to propel it forward, a glimpse of hope. Love believes in possibilities of a foreseeable future. Love is a cup half full. Love is love despite. It embraces forgiveness, tolerance and extends understanding.

What about kindness? The bible says, love is kind, it overextends. But what is kindness? Kindness is finding ways to be useful to someone else without expecting any benefit. Kindness is ministering through action, availing yourself for yourself first (filling that cup) and holding space for others.  In His kindness God has given us life. He created us in His own image, a selfless act of giving others perfection. Furthermore, in the New testament we really learn and experience a lot of God’s kindness. The birth of Christ is for one purpose only, to save us from sin; ‘save’ being the action word. Throughout the gospel we learn of many instances where God through His son Christ our Lord showed us kindness. Titus 3:4-7 “But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.” As if this was not enough, even as he departed from earth His kindness could not allow for us to be left alone. He left us with the Holy spirit, the extension of His kindness.  Galatians 5:22-23. The bible says “But the fruit of the Spirits is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law”. This is the fruit of the spirit. This kindness is actually part of the package of receiving the Holy spirit. When we receive the Holy Spirit, we receive love which manifests in patience and kindness.

In the book of Psalms 103:10, the bible says “He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.” This scripture to me sums up this patience and kindness described by Paul as attributes of love so well. We do not receive it because of who we are. Who we are is not deserving of His patience and kindness but because He so loved the world (John 3:16) we benefit from this. We receive it because of God’s demonstration of love, His gracious love.  

Be blessed, be love, be patient and extend kindness.

LM