A romantic setting between potentially king Solomon and a Shulammite woman, is a poetic story of love, courtship, the wedding, the honeymoon and a marriage with its ups and downs. A setting between Shulem and the vineyards of Solomon in the city of Jerusalem. A beautiful contrast and unlikely attraction between a somewhat rural girl who works the fields and looks after goats and a handsome city lad (Be it Solomon or not).
Oo-oh, did we just start a Chrisitan blog that way… yup, that awkward bible study for Chrisitan singles but let’s brave it and go with an open mind. Come along with me and let me share how God spoke to me so differently about this book, Song of Songs in this season.
Let me begin with a disclaimer to my approach, while I am fully aware of the potential allegory of the story of God and His people approach I could have taken to understand and write about this book, I intentionally decided not to go that direction because of the desire to understand the romantic love journey that could be laid for single Christians in an age where the marital age is a lot more advanced in years than in the past, something that definitely brings its own challenges in society as a whole (topic for another day). I am particularly interested in the idea of courtship in this story because I find it particularly hard for singles of today who pursue relationships with intentions to marry (leaving, cleaving and weaving). Although I read the whole book as a hopeless fan of genuine love that feeds off each other, I will only focus on the first and second book where the pre-marital engagement is mostly seen.
The book opens with a scene where a young lady sees a handsome guy (which could be Solomon) and imagines shooting her shot with him. She brings us to her thoughts, sharing what she really finds attractive in him. She says, “your name is like oil poured out; therefore, the virgins love you” (Song of Songs 1:3), a poetic statement speaking to the ‘name’ in the sense of his character, reputation, and presence (a man amongst men). This is the first thing she brings up about what she likes about this guy.
She then introspects on herself, supposedly weighing what would attract a guy like Solomon in her. She speaks down on herself reflecting her insecurities about her dark skin that was because of hard labouring outside in the sun. While she worked hard looking after her family vineyards, she has not made time or effort to take care of her beauty or exterior. This makes her self-conscious as she compares herself to the dashing man in front of her. She feels insecure based on the beauty standards of this time.
While she likes this gent and wants to know him, it is clear in the text that she did not want to chase or approach him because that would cheapen her and make her look like a prostitute. She says “ Tell me, my love, where are you leading your flock today? Where will you rest your sheep at noon? For why should I wander like a prostitute among your friends and their flocks?” (Song of Songs 1:7 – NLT). To which Solomon responds with an invitation for her to come along and follow in verse 8 saying “If you don’t know, O most beautiful woman, follow the trail of my flock.”
Further to this we see a response in a poetic exchange of compliments between the two where Solomon reassures her future bride and compliments her exterior from her cheeks, eyes to her neck even. Basically, despite her insecurities Solomon assures her that she is a ‘ten over ten’ to him 😊
In Chapter 2, She turns and speaks to a nation of women in Jerusalem (feel free to replace Jerusalem with your nation), warning them not to wake love until it is time. She says, “Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right.” The other version says “do not awaken love until it so desires” The lady tells us love has its place and its time but do not stir it up without a good foundation and intention. The stirring up could speak to physical intimacy, allow me to call it the misappropriation of resources. Let it blossom at the right place and at the right time. This is indeed the wisdom that all singles need to hear especially in an era where our bodies have become a currency in the stock exchange. What is God given, must be God guided. Scripture encourages young women to wait so they could experience love in the context of a committed relationship in God’s timing. In verse 15 she says “Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming!” In the vineyards, little foxes would be seemingly insignificant pests that could potentially nibble on the grapes and ruin the harvest. But in the context of a new relationship or courtship that is rushed these little foxes could be all the seemingly insignificant issues that come along in the “getting to know each other” phase we ignore because we have rushed and misappropriated the resources of the temple of God, so we are forced to make things work. Here we find encouragement to take our time and deal with all the foxes before they ruin the vineyard. You know I really resonated with this passage not only from experience but also because it reminded me of an old friend who often used the analogy of a vineyard when he spoke of personal spending as a businessperson. He often spoke of how it was better to benefit from the vineyard and enjoy those fruits instead of starting to reap from the garden. I think the same analogy could apply in a relationship, the fruits from a plant need to be preserved for a bigger vision of a vineyard. Otherwise, we all get to the vineyards with no vine seedlings to plant.
I loved reading these chapters because here Solomon and his beloved not only paint a picture of what love at first sight should feel like, they share the reality of feelings and attraction between two people, something we often don’t speak about as Christian. They give us a glimpse of the challenge and necessity to practice self-control because, naturally, people who love each other want to be together.
Another part of this book that I really enjoyed is how these two emphasize love beyond physical attraction as they speak of the qualities they see in each other and how those complement their different needs. A hard-working dark dindi(beauty), meets a handsome man of honor who pursues her correctly with intentions to wed. The story highlights the areas of attraction which were not materialistic to both. Protective and assuring nature of the gent. Solomon sets a standard and his lady hints at the qualities that should matter. Beyond physical attraction is value that they can build on together. Throughout the book you see how they reciprocate their admiration for each other.
Later in Chapter two, the bride to be is gracious enough to advise all singles and hopefuls to do this love thing right and wait for the right kind of love because she recognizes that its not always right. She further shares with us ways to pluck out the weed in the “honeymoon” phase of the relationship and how we should not get distracted by sexual desires or tensions. They both acknowledge there is a yearning and longing for one another, however it is more important to nurture the relationship in the early stages and deal with all issues to give it longevity.
A beautiful love story to learn from about pursuit, relationship boundaries and the importance of aligned values seen and communicated right at the beginning.
I hope you read this and realize how beautiful, charming you will be to the one meant for you. How they will see your flaws as rocks to build a beautiful foundation on. May a love so pure and meaningful find you soon if that’s what you desire 😊
Be Blessed and be love
Thank God Jesus pursued me.
LM
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Quench My Thirst 