restaurant-menu-template_23-2147510410When I was growing up,  our parents were very strict, strict about the daily routines, school, Saturday chores, church things. I remember my dad being particularly strict about our attendance of anything church related. As a Christian family we believed in praying for everything. In fact we all got turns to take up the responsibility of praying for whatever occasion. We were so blessed that even in the absence of our parents at times we had someone who kept it going, Sisi Makhiwa (our helper) who shared the same values as my parents. She got the brief and carried it well. She made sure we had chores, we played outside enough, knew what time to go home (when the street lights went on, that was our signal). We would go home and close the curtains,  of course there is no reason to be outside the house again after those curtains are closed  (signal no 2 if you missed the first street lights).

Of all the things we were taught, three things became the basic principles:

1) go to church every Sunday,

2) pray for our food,

3) pray  before we sleep.

For the most part of my life I was doing well. Sometimes I would be partying till 03h00 in the morning and still remember to wake up and go to church on a Sunday. It probably helped that my church on campus started at 12h00 on a Sunday because we shared a priest with other parishes.

And so I also continued to pray before I sleep almost every day, in fact I got better and started praying randomly in the middle of the day and spontaneously even amongst people when I started understanding that prayer was a conversation with God and if I had a close relationship with him I did not need to make an appointment.

Then there was praying for the food, something we also did very well at home. This was a responsibility that came with being the cook at home, so who ever was cooking had to also bless the food before everyone could eat. This was before a person went to university and started being their own family and cooking for one.  I have a recollection of a time when I started thinking, its strange to bless the food while sitting alone, so ndaqala ukuthandazela ngaphakathi  ( English is failing me as I try to find a good articulation of this but all it means is I started internalising my prayer) and I think that is the beginning of where I lost it. For so long I stayed alone and continued to “thadazela ngaphakathi“. . To add to this dynamic, there was also going out for dinners with friends, colleagues sometimes or even business associates and in all these going out I would be lying if I said out of 10 times I have ever been in the presence of someone who initiates the prayer to bless the food until recently. Now because most of the people I know say they are Christians ,  I am inclined to assume nabo bathandazela ngaphakathi when they are eating out .

Over two years ago my son was born and I planned to start going back to the routine of blessing the food not  “ngaphakathi” this time, but to start vocalising this prayer so that like me he would learn from a young age to pray and to show gratitude. For all sorts of reasons, it has not been easy to get back into this habit, not because I am not thankful but because I always associated it with cooking for the family and doing it at home.

I was recently caught out while travelling with a friend in Asia where we only ate on the streets, takeaways and restaurant food. Remember that’s the one I never even started to bless. I guess subconsciously I assumed the cook blessed it.  I was embarrassed and really inspired by her consistency in blessing the food regardless of the environment,  be it the street food, restaurant food or hotel food; without fail this woman remembers to bless her food and the hands that made it. Somehow she does not seem to think takeaways and hotel food is immune to the basic prayer of thanking God for His provision.

This experience made me wonder how many of us are assuming someone has already done it or like me bathandazela ngaphathi… Its a simple thing but it bothered me so  I thought I’d put it out there so someone else can think about it and join me as I relearn it together with my young fellow. For 21 days we relearn by leading or initiating the prayer whenever and wherever we eat.

1 Timothy 4:4-5 says  “For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with thanksgiving, for it is made holy by the word of God and prayer.”  while  Acts 27:35  says “And when he had said these things, he took bread, and giving thanks to God in the presence of all he broke it and began to eat.”

ChurchGirlHuman

LM.